kale and green apple salad - we're so cool we had to wait till kale wasn't a trend anymore

Before I begin, let me preface this week's post with a statement, a statement of my own character which will become progressively clearer as you scroll further down."I am lazy". (what's new)

This week I've been plagued with a sore throat, so forgive me if I don't talk much in this post. Trust that there will be various occasions in this post where I "cough" to give myself an excuse not to finish the sentence. This week I made a *cough. 

Unless you're blind or illiterate, you know that Chow Creations has finally succumbed to the raw, healthy, vegan, gluten-free, I hate to say it but yes we're getting onto the kale trend. Wait...what do you mean "kale" isn't a trend anymore? So my producers are telling me that "kale", nor "justin bieber" are trends anymore. I know, I'm as astounded as you are. That means Chow Creations has successfully diverted yet another food trend! Yes! Long time readers of this blog know that it's our highest goal to subvert any food trends until we start our own. I'm still trying to get "grapeberries" and/or "rectangular cake prisms" started. 

The aforementioned lazy food blogger is getting tired now so I think I should get to the cooking, before his "sore throat" acts up. *cough (how can a sore throat hurt if you're typing?!"

First, let's prepare the vinaigrette. This is a honey apple vinaigrette which I think goes really well with the tart apples and cuts through the richness of the cashews. This is how easy it is. Pour all of the ingredients (which are for the vinaigrette) into a mason jar, and then shake the hillbilly out of it. Don't forget to put the lid on it before you shake it. One time I *cough. If you don't have a jar to shake it in, you can get the same result by whisking all the ingredients together while drizzling in the olive oil (it just won't be as fun). 

Thinly slice extra baby red onions for final assembly and garnishing.

Toast the cashew on 350F for a 5-8 minutes. If you can smell them they're done, if you can really smell them they're burnt. 

Wash, core, and thinly slice green apples. If you want you can dice them up into bite-sized pieces, I think they look better on camera sliced. 

With a knife, strip the kale leaves from the stalk (rib) and cut into salad sized pieces. You've eaten a salad before, just slice them as large or small as your last salad was. Just pick a size and stick with it. The ribs are to be discarded or made into manure if you're one of those people.

You should have all of the ingredients ready. Assemble and *cough.

If you have any comments, suggestions, tips, or acclamations meet me below. I seriously enjoy everything y'all have to say and it means the world to me to get your kind words. And as always, 

*cough

Recipe

for the honey apple vinaigrette
1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
juice of 1/2 lemon
2 red pearl onions, finely diced
3/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
coarse salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

for the kale and green apple salad

1/4 cup red pearl onions or shallots, thinly sliced

3/4 cup cashews, toasted2 granny smith apples, washed and thinly sliced, peel optional
1 kale bundle, they come at the stores this way

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